Organising a burial service while grieving the loss of a loved one can feel overwhelming. This guide offers a step-by-step approach to help you plan a respectful, meaningful funeral that commemorates the life of the person you've lost.
Preparing for the day of the funeral
Before making arrangements, check whether your loved one left any funeral instructions. Some people may have pre-planned or even pre-paid for their burial service, bought a plot in a cemetery or have a family plot available. If no prior arrangements were made, a local funeral director can help guide you through the planning process.
Choosing the date, time and venue for the service
The burial will be in the grounds of a place or worship, a local council burial ground or a natural burial ground. A plot and permission will need to be gained, and the plot will need to be purchased and prepared. Fees apply for the preparation of the grave and to the venue.
Several venue options are available for a service, depending on your preferences and the wishes of the deceased. Most services will happen at the same place as the burial. However, you may want a service before or after at a separate location. These might include:
a place of worship
a village hall or hotel
a private residence.
To choose a suitable date and time:
Check the availability of your chosen venue.
Co-ordinate with a local funeral director to confirm their availability.
Consider the schedules of close family members or important attendees.
Personalising the burial service
A personalised burial service can help celebrate the unique life of your loved one. Consider incorporating:
religious or cultural traditions, where relevant
personal interests or hobbies, such as music, literature, or nature
family customs or specific rituals
photo displays, memory boards or tribute videos
readings, poems or speeches from family and friends
music that was meaningful to the deceased
an order of service booklet, which may include photographs, favourite quotes or poetry or short biography or timeline of their life.
The funeral reception (or wake) can also be personalised through:
the choice of venue
types of food and drink served
decorations or themes that reflect your loved one’s personality.
Flowers and charitable donations
You may choose to honour your loved one with:
floral tributes displayed at the venue
charitable donations collected in lieu of flowers - you can suggest a specific charity or organisation that held personal significance for the deceased.
Choosing a coffin
Coffin selection often includes considerations such as:
material (e.g., wood, wicker, cardboard)
size and any custom requirements
finishing touches, including handles, trims or engravings
personal items placed inside the coffin, such as letters, photographs, small keepsakes or flowers.
Your funeral director will be able to advise on styles and options.
Transport on the day
The coffin is typically transported in a hearse to where the burial is taking place. Additional transport considerations include:
hired limousines for family and close friends
funeral processions, where guests follow the hearse
route planning to avoid traffic congestion or delays.
Your funeral director can assist in planning the journey to ensure everyone arrives on time.
Writing an obituary
An obituary honours the life of your loved one and can inform others about funeral details. You may choose to:
publish the obituary in a local newspaper
share a funeral notice online or via social media.
Planning a wake or funeral reception
Holding a wake after the burial service gives friends and family a chance to gather, reflect and support one another.
Key considerations when organising a wake include:
choosing a venue, such as a community hall, restaurant or private home
arranging food and drinks, based on expected attendance and preferences
adding personal touches, such as photos, playlists or memory tables.