Losing a loved one can make the festive season especially difficult. Christmas, a time of traditions and togetherness, may feel unbalanced and uncertain.
While there is no right or wrong way to navigate grief during the holidays, here are five practical tips to help you cope in a way that feels right for you.
1. Let go of expectations
Christmas is associated with traditions and grief disrupts those traditions in profound ways. It’s natural to want things to remain the same or to seek a completely new experience – both of which can be challenging.
Instead of fearing the worst, allow yourself to take the day as it comes.
Recognise that your emotions may fluctuate throughout the day, and that’s okay.
Understand that Christmas might be difficult, bearable or even enjoyable – it’s different for everyone.
Give yourself permission to experience the period in your own way without judgement.
2. Embrace change and do things differently
Christmas is already different because your loved one is no longer here. Acknowledging this can free you to make intentional choices about how to approach the day.
Keep some traditions and modify or let go of others.
Create new rituals that honour your loved one or bring you comfort.
Consider making small changes, like altering your Christmas meal or schedule.
If it helps, spend the holiday in a new environment – perhaps with friends instead of family.
3. Honour and remember your loved one
Creating space to acknowledge your loved one can make the day more meaningful and prevent unspoken sorrow from overshadowing the holiday.
Set aside a time for family and friends to share memories.
Let people know in advance that their name will be spoken and their presence acknowledged.
Encourage open conversations and reminisce about what your loved one would have found funny or enjoyable.
Consider lighting a candle, playing their favourite Christmas song, or incorporating their favourite dish into the meal.
4. Prioritise self-care and boundaries
Taking care of yourself is not selfish – it allows you to show up for others in a more authentic way.
Give yourself permission to step away if needed – take a nap, go for a walk alone or write in a journal.
Set boundaries around activities you don’t feel up to participating in.
Spend time with those who uplift you, whether it’s children, close friends or supportive family members.
Express your needs in a clear and compassionate way.
5. Accept and ask for help
You don’t have to go through this alone. It’s okay to be vulnerable and let others support you.
If you need a hug or comfort, ask for it.
If someone offers to help, say yes – even if it’s not your usual response.
Reach out to a friend, support group or professional if you need additional guidance.
Remember, expressing your grief does not burden others – it allows them to be there for you.
Final thoughts
Grieving during Christmas is deeply personal and there is no one-size-fits-all approach. Be gentle with yourself, acknowledge your emotions and allow the festive period to unfold in the way that feels right for you. If you need additional support, don’t hesitate to reach out. You are not alone.