If you choose to have a funeral, memorial, celebration of life or other ceremony, it's important to consider who will lead it. Organising a ceremony can be emotional and complex, so having a written plan in place can greatly ease the burden on your loved ones.
You may choose to work with a funeral director, who often has celebrants on staff or can recommend experienced individuals. Alternatively, you may prefer a family member, friend or religious leader to conduct the ceremony.
Working with a funeral director
A funeral director can:
assist with organising the funeral or other ceremonies
recommend or connect you with celebrants or officiants
help co-ordinate between the person leading the ceremony and your family or other support people.
If a funeral director is involved, they will usually liaise directly with whoever is conducting the ceremony to ensure all details are taken care of smoothly.
Choosing a religious or spiritual leader
In the UK, it was once common for funerals to be led by the deceased’s church leader or religious community representative. These individuals often had a personal relationship with the person who died. If you are religious or spiritual, you may wish for your vicar, priest, rabbi, imam or local faith leader to conduct your funeral. If this is your preference, it's essential to document it clearly in your funeral plan. Otherwise, assumptions may be made, or disagreements may arise among those left behind.
Celebrants and officiants
Anyone can lead a funeral or ceremony – it doesn’t have to be an official figure. Some families choose a loved one to speak, while others may want a professional celebrant to guide the process. A celebrant can help by:
explaining what is involved in creating a ceremony
working with you (or your family) to reflect your values, beliefs, and personality
helping choose readings, music, hymns, prayers, offerings or other tributes
advising on who might be suitable to speak or participate in the ceremony.
Types of celebrants
There are several types of trained and authorised celebrants available in the UK. Each offers a different approach based on your personal, spiritual, or cultural preferences.
Civil celebrants offer:
non-religious or partially spiritual ceremonies tailored to the person who has died
flexibility and personalisation – the ceremony can include meaningful readings, stories and symbols
a focus on celebrating life, without religious elements unless requested.
Faith and belief celebrants include:
humanist celebrants, who offer non-religious ceremonies that avoid any reference to faith or the afterlife
pagan, spiritualist or other belief-based celebrants, who may draw from specific traditions
independent celebrants, who may include any combination of personal, cultural, or spiritual elements.
Be sure to ask about the celebrant’s approach to ensure it aligns with your values and preferences.
Interfaith celebrants respect and honour all traditions – or none – and may include:
elements from different belief systems (e.g., Christianity, Buddhism, Shamanism)
spiritual or symbolic practices that are meaningful to you
entirely non-religious approaches, if preferred.
An interfaith minister will work closely with you to ensure the ceremony reflects your unique beliefs and wishes.
Involving family and friends
You may choose a family member or friend to lead the ceremony. This can make the experience deeply personal, but it's important to remember:
the person leading the ceremony may not be able to fully participate as a mourner
it requires emotional and logistical preparation, which can be challenging in times of grief.
Planning ahead
Making these decisions in advance – rather than at the end of life or while grieving – can:
reduce stress and emotional pressure
prevent misunderstandings or conflict among loved ones
allow time to research and meet with funeral directors or celebrants beforehand.
Consider this part of your personal planning – like writing a will or preparing a medical directive.
Writing your own eulogy
A eulogy is a speech given to honour and celebrate a person’s life. It is usually delivered by:
the person conducting the funeral
a family member or friend
someone you specifically choose.
You may choose to write your own eulogy in advance. If so:
appoint someone to read it
make your wishes clear in writing and include it with your funeral plan.
Writing an obituary
An obituary is a formal death notice, traditionally published in a newspaper. It may include:
key milestones and achievements in your life
personal stories or reflections
details about the funeral or other ceremonies.
Options for handling your obituary include:
write it yourself in advance.
appoint someone to write it for you
leave it up to family or friends.
Many people also share news of a death informally through social media, but a formal obituary can still be an effective way to reach a wider audience.
Final thoughts
Regardless of who you choose to lead your ceremony, the most important thing is that the choice reflects your values and wishes. Planning ahead and writing down your preferences makes everything clearer for those you leave behind.
Need support?
If you need help planning a funeral or choosing a celebrant, consider reaching out to:
Local funeral directors – for guidance, recommendations and co-ordination.
Celebrant associations – such as Humanists UK or the The Interfaith Ministers Association.
Faith organisations – your local place of worship can offer support and information.