Discussing end-of-life matters with a partner or loved one can be challenging. Here are five practical strategies to help you navigate this sensitive topic.
1. Be prepared to seize the right moment
Educate yourself on end-of-life planning so that if a natural opportunity arises, you can engage in the conversation with confidence.
If you're unprepared, you may miss the moment or struggle to articulate your concerns effectively.
Taking care of your own end-of-life planning can also set an example and make the conversation easier.
Be prepared for it to take more than one conversation.
2. Find creative ways to start the conversation
Frame the discussion in a way that feels less intimidating. For example, say that you’ve been advised to get your affairs in order as a general best practice and ask for their input.
If direct conversation is difficult, suggest writing down key details about financial matters, medical wishes, or other responsibilities instead.
Difficult conversations are often easier to start if you’re not sitting opposite each other across a table! Try starting the conversation when you’re out for a walk, for example.
3. Respect their boundaries
Some people simply do not want to talk about dying and that is their choice.
If your partner/loved one is facing a terminal illness, they may feel powerless. Avoid pressuring them, as choosing not to discuss their mortality may be one way they maintain a sense of control.
4. Seek support from others
If your partner or loved one refuses to engage, talk to a friend, therapist or professional who understands these challenges.
Seeking outside support can help you process your own emotions and prepare for the future, even if your partner is unwilling to discuss it.
5. Focus on what you can control
While you cannot force someone to talk, you can take steps to manage your own affairs and make things as organised as possible.
Document important financial, legal and healthcare information for your own peace of mind.
Lead by example – sometimes, seeing you take action may encourage your partner or loved one to open up.
Final thoughts
End-of-life discussions can be emotionally difficult, but they are essential for ensuring that wishes are honoured and that loved ones are not left overwhelmed. If your partner or loved one resist, be patient, seek support, and focus on what you can control. Even small steps toward planning can make a significant difference for the future.